So it takes a special kind of person to be able to make me feel the way he dose. It scares me. More than that, it terrifies me. They tell me I push away anyone who tries to get close to me and yet for the first time in two years I finally feel that just maybe that won’t be the case… But then again, it has only been a couple of weeks. The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt him in any way. I find myself more concerned about his feelings than my own and I don’t want to do anything in the world that could upset him. I sometimes think maybe I should just leave him alone in order to avoid anything bad happening in the future, but I don’t think I could do that. I don’t want to stop feeling the way he makes me feel. But then what will happen when he realizes I am not as fantastic as he thinks. When he starts to see all the things wrong with me that I see every single day? I think he is so fucking amazing and he deserves far far better than me. I don’t think anyone in my life has ever been as good to me as he has and it’s not fair. I can never give him that, I could never be that good to him. Although he makes me happy I just know I’m not good enough and that makes me sad because I know he will realise this soon
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Thoughtsofasuicide_ 
I’ve been following you for awhile now. And you seem so unsure with yourself. With this new man in your life, he obviously chose YOU for a reason and you are together because not only you, but he wants to be. Keep that in mind when you are having these feelings of self-doubt. You deserve only what you believe you deserve. If you aren’t confident in yourself and the amazing person I am sure you are, others will notice that. Don’t push away a person who may be good for your self-confidence.
Perhaps you are as fantastic as he thinks. People love others for their imperfections; not their perfections. If that were not the case everybody would be single.
I have been in your position, thinking I was worthless, that nobody in their right mind could love me. That attitude has cost me relationships. I also attempted suicide. With medication I am able to live a somewhat ‘normal’ life. Now I try do devote much of my attention to helping homeless people. If I’m thinking about them I can’t be thinking negatively about myself. Meditation also helps to break the cycle of self abuse.
Cheers,
Dennis